In 2008, Meg began writing about what it’s really like to be married to an entrepreneur, struggling alongside them whilst they are trying to make their dream – not yours – work. We all know how difficult it can be to create work-life boundaries, but when you live in the same house as your business, separating the two can seem almost impossible.
Meg’s new book, ‘For Better or for Work’, offers support and solutions for entrepreneurs and their families, in her trademark honest and personal style. It’s not only the entrepreneur who has to make sacrifices for a business to work.
BusinessBecause talks to Meg about keeping your home life ‘intact’, why entrepreneurs will always tell you that business is going well, and why business and life have to run in tandem.
What got you interested in organic farming?
After I’d graduated from college, I read a book called ‘The Unsettling of America’, written by Wendell Berry, a poet and essayist. It was an inspiring introduction to agriculture.
I became an apprentice on an organic farm in California, and managed a three acre garden where elementary school children could learn about science and nutrition.
How did you get involved in Stonyfield Yogurt?
My interest in farming had led me to take a Master’s degree at Cornell Agriculture School, and then to join a large organic vegetable operation in New Jersey.
Through my job, I ended up at a large farm management conference in New Hampshire, where I met my future husband Gary. He had co-founded a young company, with very shaky prospects – but, fortunately, I wasn’t shaky about him!
When we married, one of us had to leave our job so that we could live together, and it made sense for me to move to New Hampshire as I didn’t have my own company. We lived together on Stonyfield farm for six or seven years.
The yogurt was made onsite, which was very inefficient, and Stonyfield Yogurt didn’t start to make a profit until we moved production off the farm itself, which was nine years into the business.
When did you first realise that working in a start-up would affect your home life?
From about the first second! We weren’t only facing the normal problems that are part of every start-up – we were actually living in the business. It made sense to work from home until there was proof that it was worth paying for a production space and offices.
The strain this has on your family must be managed carefully. The separation between business and family blurs as the business starts to gobble up space. It can be extremely invasive, which is why it’s so important to establish work-life boundaries and healthy divisions.
Another pressure came from the fact that are lot of our early shareholders were friends and family. The last thing you want to do is to lose their cash, along with their faith in you and your business.
How did you keep your home-life intact whilst Stonyfield was working towards achieving profitability?
‘Intact’ is probably a good word to use – it wasn’t really much more than that! When you’re in survival mode, work-life isn’t in balance at all, as you divert time and attention to the business.
As a spouse, you need to recognise that sometimes a business will win over the needs of the family. However, when this goes on for sustained periods, it can become intolerable, and have serious consequences.
Businesses are always have a profound impact on the family, so it’s important that you share an idea of the long view together. Hopefully, the troubles faced in the first few years will be atypical. In the meantime, you have to realise that the heart, brain and body of an entrepreneur all need to be thrown into making this thing work.
Is it possible to have a good work-life balance as an entrepreneur?
Absolutely – it has to be possible. Entrepreneurs have a mission, and are willing to sacrifice almost anything to make their dream come true. However, it’s not fair or legitimate for entrepreneurs to expect their family to make equivalent sacrifices.
I recommend setting benchmarks for the business to help. Whilst most entrepreneurs don’t meet their business plans – there are simply too many unforeseen things that can happen – a plan gives you something to measure reality against.
This allows you to sit down with your spouse, and talk about what you can both do to help things going forward. These issues really need to be put on the table.
Do you think entrepreneurs could be more honest about the pressures business puts on your home life?
I’m sympathetic with the pressure entrepreneurs feel to give a rose-tinted view of what having your own business is like. When we were producing our yogurt on the farm, sometimes an entire morning’s production would be lost to contamination – but when shareholders, employees or suppliers asked how things were, we gave a positive answer.
For an entrepreneur, there are two acceptable answers to the question ‘how’s business?’. They are ‘good’ and ‘great’! If people get a whiff of a crisis, capital flees and employees start looking for a job elsewhere. You need to keep people believing that the rickety structure of your business is strong.
The downside of not being completely truthful is that entrepreneurship becomes an isolating experience. Keeping difficulties to yourself is hard to sustain. It can be really helpful to go to events held for entrepreneurs, where you can let your hair down and share stories without worrying about it. There’s a massive relief in release!
Why did you decide to write 'For Better or For Work?'
I’ve been a freelance writer for over a decade, writing everything from articles to yogurt cook books! I had written a story for Inc. magazine about the arduous start up years from a spouse’s perspective. It was very frank, and the magazine was snowed under by mail in response.
I got a message from the editor, who said that I’d clearly tapped into something important, and started a column in 2008. The response was overwhelming, and I was really struck by the personal stories readers were sharing.
After a couple of year of writing the column, it was clear that there was real value in expansion, so I decided to write my first business book, ‘For Better or For Work: A Survival Guide for Entrepreneur and their Families’. It grew out of an organic process!
What advice would you give to graduates hoping to start their own business?
I think that having a vision is a really amazing thing, and allows you to live an exceptional life. Having passion for what you do is a gift.
My only cautionary note is that you have to be aware that you will be composing your life as you set up a business – it’s impossible to take the sequential approach of ‘business now, life later’. No amount of success will compensate for a personal life in tatters.
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